Samuel, Saul, David, and Solomon

As posted on my other Blog: Embracing God

I thought that I would repost this blog on my main page because it gives an idea of what my other blog is about. How do we Embrace God? My blogs are generally to help me organized my thoughts, and I have had the tendancy to go to this one more often lately. Here is what it said:

I have been struggling lately. In History of Israel we are currently studying the Kings of Israel. We already talked about Samuel the prophet, Saul, David, and Solomon. Dr. Chen stated that Samuel was the Prophet after God's own heart. That Saul was the king after man's heart, and that David was the king after God's Heart. Solomon was just half-hearted. Sometimes I really don't know where I stand. I am to be like Samuel and tell of God's word, no matter what happens. I know that I want a heart like David's yet feel that I probably am somewhere between Solomon's half-heart or Saul's want to please people. Four men, with very different kinds of lives and sins. Saul was a people pleaser, and prideful. David was an adulterer, murderer and he too was prideful at a certain point in his life. Solomon started well with the Fear of the Lord, yet finish poorly because his wives turned his heart away from God. I want my heart to be that of God's, but wind up screwing things up many times. My pride, and my want to be somebody hurts what I can do for God - because of the wall that it puts up, and the opportunities that I miss because I head to man's call before God.

My prayer for today is to find out what I am really made of. Can I have the Fear of the LORD? Can I have a heart after God? You would think that being in Seminary that I should have my act together, but I screw up all the time. Sometimes I wonder why I am even there, yet I feel the prompting of God.

I ask you Heavenly Father, to help me find my way in all this. I ask you to help me to be more like David in that I have the will to please you in all things that I do. I ask you to hear my prayers - I have been feeling like they are doing no good. I praise you with tributes that I don't know if I even believe. I started blogging because I wanted to feel like you hear me. I thought if I could just keep a log of what you are doing then maybe, I will feel as if you hear me and are answering me. This blog started off as something I was thinking to something I feel inside. I ask you to show me that you do hear me and help me see that. I ask you all this in Jesus Name, AMEN!